06 April, 2008

alone, again

I'm single again, as of 1st April 2008.
385 days of relationship abruptly and peacefully ended, amidst torrents of silent tears..
I could easily have been the biggest April fool this year.
It's strange how sensitive a broken heart can be.
Every dark cloud in the sky seems to portray the empty corners of a broken heart.
Every song on the radio seems to sing the aching tenderness of a broken heart.
Every object that once represented love seems to mock a broken heart now.
A lot of 'Why's?' were thrown my way, burdening a head that's fogged by an injured heart. If I could, I'd like to ask Fate why I have to go through it too. Why I have to mourn for a love that once was? Why I fell in love in the beginning, if it's only to end this way? Why does love has to turn so painful? But I don't think I can ever get any answers...
It took 1 year for us to realize the impossible differences we had. Rather, we took 1 year to recognize the painful truth of such unnegotiable differences. We needed a year to understand and respect the differences between us. We needed a year to muster the courage to admit our failure at overcoming such differences. We needed a year to make up our minds for that which is best for both, and that being a separation.
I wake up in the morning, and I wonder
Why everything is the same as it was?
I can't understand
No I can't understand
How life goes on the way it does?
(Vonda Shepard, 'The End of the World')