realize

Does it count if someone realizes his/her mistake only after you've shouted at them? After you've made known your dissatisfaction clearly? Does their repentence count then?

I have a penchant for making people miserable when they do not know their wrong-doings. By 'miserable', I meant sending them away in:
- confusion or
- guilt or
- tears or
- all of the above.
Yes, I'd say it's blatant emotional torture, but now I got to thinking, that perhaps the only person I'm really punishing isn't them, but me.

It's true I often express my emotions out-and-out (and God knows how brutal that can be, sometimes.....more times..), and I have difficulty containing myself when it comes to pointing out my dissatisfaction with regards to another person's speech, action, and sometimes even their looks. Well it's not like I never try to keep it all within. I did try. It just didn't last long enough. The irony is when I've put their wrongs in front of them and made them realize, I just couldn't be bothered with apologies anymore. In my point of view, if I have to make you understand your wrongs, and that you didn't come to the realization on your own, then really, your repentence doesn't carry that much weight anymore.

Is that scary? I newly discovered this trait. I think what I was hoping for was for people to realize their mistakes on their own. Then again, the ball might be thrown back in my face: Would I realize what I've done wrong if nobody tells me? Not really. Nonetheless, I still prefer if all of us could realize our own mistakes without having others point it out to us. Somehow, self-realization seems more valuable.

Just a thought.